These past 2 months have been crazy. And by crazy I mean hard.
So many changes and obstacles. So many battles and difficulties.
But through it all, I have been so overwhelmed and amazed by the Goodness of our God.
In April I got word that My grandpa had suffered a stroke and was probably not going to pull through. He died a few weeks later. And though It was so hard being far from my family, never have I felt so surrounded with love and support. My staff family here, and friends came along side me so wonderfully and were so amazing. I am so grateful for them. And I am so grateful for skype, and internet which allows me to be “with” my family in moments like that. God is so good.
In April we had to say goodbye to one of our dear staff families here, The Howards. God has called them back to the states after several years of incredible service here. Letting them go has been so hard for everyone. It has been one of the hardest goodbyes I have ever had to say. It is something we are all still processing. As a staff family, it has brought us all closer together. Brought each of us back to the original purpose we have here. In the end, we are not here because of the friendships, because of the blessing of who or what God puts in our lives, or because of the life we have built here. Those are all secondary. We are here because of obedience. Because God has called us to be here. And that has to be our focus: doing what he called us to do, regardless of the situations that are happening. We are here for a purpose so much greater than ourselves. We have been chosen, regardless of how long or how short it may be, to be here doing this right now. We know his plans are always for good and his ways higher than ours. It has been so beautiful to see the how the Howard’s love and ministry here has impacted, and continues to impact, the lives of so many of us here. God is so good.
There has been lots of sickness, unexpected situations, and spiritual attacks these past months. But through these and many other difficulties that have been going on, God has made his presence known so strongly. It has amazed me how the deeper the pit I am walking through, the stronger I feel his love. The Darker the night, the tighter he holds my hand. The more I dont understand, the more faith he gives. And the more I lack, the more he provides. Through each new difficulty I have heard him constantly remind me, sometimes in a whisper, sometimes in a shout, “I am still good.” “Trust in me.” And he is still good. And I do choose to trust in him. And I am overwhelemed by his goodness. I am in awe of his faithfulness. So humbled by his great love.
Life is a series of dark tunnels, with the occasional glimps of light through a hole in the wall. But we need not fear the darkness, because the author of light, The light of the World, is the one who guides us through. Let us rejoice as we walk through the darkness, knowing that because we have the light we are not lost. Knowing that someday we will make it through to the other side. Knowing that it is not forever. Knowing that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Knowing that we are loved. Delighting in the blessings, delighting in the light that guides us, and trusting always that he is good.
I will make the choice to recognize that he is still good. I will choose to trust him. I will choose to rejoice in the darkness. I will choose to recognize and delight in the blessings. I will choose to be thankful. I will choose JOY.
“And if not, He is still good.”