Papa

My Grandpa died today.No one told me it would be this hard

No one told me it would hurt this much.

He’s gone now. And there is no way I can get him back.

Life has to go on without him.

Life is not the same without him.

It never will be.

This pain is terrible.

I miss him

I didnt want to lose him.

I wish he didnt have to go.

I would give so much to have him back.

To have him push me in his Giant tree swing.

Teach me to fish again. In his pond. Catching Sunfish.

Walking with him to the water. Having him pick us Cattails. They were our favorite.

Touching lilly Pads for the first time.
Having him feed us “vitamins ” in the morning as he filled our hands with Whoppers.

He always had the best Granola Bars and Rice crispie treats.

Extra Butter Microwave Popcorn.
The smell of his house.

Sitting by him and playing the Player Piano.

Choosing which role was next and finally being strong enough to pump it for the first time.

Dancing.

Laughing.
He would come and make us Birthday Cakes.

Pineapple Upside down cake: his specialty.

And read us books.

And tell us stories.
He would give us Casino Coins from Vegas.

And Stickers.

He bought me Highlights for as long as I can remember.

And I always knew they came from him.
He built each of us Bicycles.

The best thing in the world was to choose your bike.

And weeks later watch as he wheeled it down the ramp and into your hands.
My Grandpa died today.

He loved Rocks. And taught us how to collect them.

He loved to fish. And always brought back stories.

He cooked us Walleye.

He taught us to love birds.

He had faces in his trees

And giant rocks by his house.

He had a stationary bike and tv.

He had a black leather couch

And air conditioning.
He had a grandfather clock.

It gonged and ticked.
He took is for rides on his giant Tractor.

Her name was Bertha.
He had blackberry bushes and a compost pile.
He gave us Hot Totties when we had sore throats.
He took is to the fair each year.

He went town the slides with us.
He chewed Tobacco.

You could smell it in his breath.
He saved Apple seeds

And fed birds.
He lived well

He loved Nature
We rode the Bike Trail.

We ate at the Dairy.

We rode Back.
My Grandpa Died today.

I cannot bear to lose him.

I dont want him to be gone.

He is so special to me. 

I can still smell him. See his corderoy pants and leather boots.

His grey wavy hair, and his leather hat.
Papa, you died today.

I can’t stop the tears.
I wish we could have just one last song.

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